This week we share a guest post from blogger Suzie de Jonge. Enjoy :)
Is your money “story” a fairy-tale or a horror story?
Money can stir up a lot of different emotions and unfortunately not always pleasant ones! It can bring up fear, insecurity and guilt just to name a few. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is just bury your head in the sand and hope that it all sorts itself out somehow (think fairy godmother); but that is just a temporary fix and let’s face it, you can only breathe for so long with your head buried in the sand!
A lot of our emotional reactions are not so much about the state of our bank balance, but rather attachments to our “stories” or beliefs around money. So, what do I mean by “stories”? By the time we are around 7 years old, we come equipped with our very own personal library of stories; things we absorb through our environment or what “they” tell us (“they” being family, school, society, media etc). We then file them away on the shelf for future reference until one day that chapter in the story becomes part of our own autobiography!
So, what chapter are you living out in the “Story of Money”?
Chapter 1 – People with money are bad
Chapter 2 – You have to work hard to get money
Chapter 3 – Money is hard to hold onto
Chapter 4 – Having money is greedy when others do without
Chapter 5 – I can’t afford it
Chapter 6 – There is a limit to the amount I can earn/accumulate
Chapter 7 – I’m just not good with money
Chapter 8 – I don’t deserve money (I am not … (fill in the blank) enough)
Chapter 9 – You can’t be rich and spiritual
Chapter 10 – Prince Charming is going to come and rescue me one day!
My own personal money “story” was that it was greedy for me to have/want financial abundance when so many others in the world were suffering and doing without. I was lucky enough to have a mentor who helped me challenge this belief and realize there IS unlimited abundance in the world and enough for everyone.
Are the beliefs you have about money really yours or ones you have inherited? And how can you create new positive beliefs and emotions around money?
The first step is to identify what your actual beliefs/stories are. You may have one or several of them. Write down the stories or conversations you heard growing up from your parents/caregivers or people who influenced you in your life around money. It could be something that just feels ingrained in you, but is it really YOUR story or someone else’s you have been borrowing, like that overdue book from the library?
Once you have written them down, ask yourself some questions:
1. Is it true?
2. How would I feel if I let go of that belief?
3. What belief could I attach to money instead that would actually serve me?
Of course, if your money “story” is tied into your self-worth and not feeling “enough” in some way, it is not as simple as deciding to just let go of that belief and everything will be rosy. If this is a belief that you have been carrying around for a long time which is causing you distress or pain in some way and keeping you stuck, you may benefit from having some outside support or counseling to identify and help you work through whatever it is that has led you to feel this way. Sometimes another’s support and perspective can provide so much clarity and free you up to really feel joy and excitement about the future (and your abundance!). We all deserve that in our lives.
So why don’t you make today the day to write a NEW money story, one that is positive and has a happy ending!
I would love you to share below what your personal story is about money. Is it one of the top 10 or maybe another chapter?
Suzie de Jonge is a Transformational Coach and the founder of Beautifully Selfish. She supports women who are ready to rebuild their lives, their careers and sense of self. To learn more, click here.