The ending of a significant relationship can sometimes shake our world in a way that’s similar to a death or loss of a loved one. The trauma specifically caused by heartbreak has the power to spark many different types of emotions and can negatively impact our self-worth and confidence.
If you are experiencing a hard time navigating life after heartbreak, understand that you are not alone – trust me, I’ve been there too! Attracting healthy relationships and finding true love again is possible if you have the right mindset.
That’s why I want to share with you some relationship advice on what life can look like after the end of a relationship. Yes, life may feel different, but it’s in no way over. Read on to discover the primary reasons why uncovering a “happily ever after” is not just for fairytales.
I’ve found that it’s the work we do after the end of a relationship that forces us to see ourselves for who we truly are. Sometimes we don’t realize that we’ve been relying on the other person to determine our identity, until after it’s over.
While my business partner, Glen and I, remain the best of friends to this day, our past life as a married couple revealed itself to be something that just wasn’t in the cards for us. Today, I understand that it’s totally okay! But at the end of our marriage, I was left asking myself questions like:
“Who am I without him?”
“What am I supposed to do without him?”
As scary as these thoughts may seem at first, they are very real and valid concerns - no matter where you are in life. When you find yourself navigating life without a significant other to lean on, it’s easy to feel lost. The first thing you’ve got to do is take the time to focus on YOU.
Focus on you: Remember what it means to love yourself
Working through heartbreak can feel exhausting, especially if you don’t have the right tools. You may be in denial of the situation and want to place blame on others, but the work to get on the other side starts with you.
To be honest, it took me many years to figure out what it meant to love myself first. I know that in order to attract the kind of loving relationship I want, I have to love me before I can love someone else. My marriage to Glen was an amazing experience, but at the end, I realized I was neglecting love for my divine self. This was a crucial realization for determining what a happy future looked like for me going forward.
When you do the inner work before entering a new relationship, you are priming yourself to have a healthier relationship with whoever comes into your life in this next chapter.
Change the story: See your mistakes as lessons
When you get to the point where you can see past mistakes as lessons, you become that much more in tune with your higher self and the healthy relationships you want to attract. Rather than placing blame on the other person (which is easy to do) or feeling like you’ve been betrayed or neglected, you can use those missteps as tools to avoid future hurt. But you have to be willing to make that choice.
And yes, of course, it’s natural to sometimes revert to feelings of blame and judgment toward a former partner or even yourself. But don’t get stuck there. Dwelling in those feelings is only going to keep you spinning on a hamster wheel of resentment.
But when you make a conscious decision to change the narrative around what went wrong or how you’ve ended up in this challenging situation, you are harnessing the personal power to ignite positive change. You become more coherent with your divine self and open up the lines of communication to reach your highest potential. So don’t be afraid to get uncomfortable, because now is the time to let your old story go, to unlock the best version of you for the future.
Visualize your future self: Get excited for who you can be going forward
If you’re still worried about what life will be like without a partner, understand that you now have the power to become whoever it is that you want to be! And isn’t that exciting?
So instead of asking yourself, “Who am I without them?”, it’s important to shift that question to something more like:
“Who do I get to become now?”
Well… You get to write your own story.
You get to write this next chapter.
You get to determine the kind of healthy relationship that you truly desire.
And this is exciting! Because you did the inner work to get to the place of loving yourself exactly how you want to be loved. Remember, this is a new chapter, so things are going to be different, and that’s completely okay.
So while, at first, the end of a relationship may seem like you don’t know what to do, it can actually be a very exciting and positively transformational shift in your life. You can use your visualization skills to start manifesting what a “happily ever after” looks like for you.
Often times, we lean toward putting certain expectations on a partner or a marriage or a relationship, and unfortunately, it’s those expectations that lead us down a road of disappointment when things don’t work out the way we expected them to.
So instead of putting the expectation on how someone else shows up in a relationship, the key is to remember that you are deserving of happiness. When you expect happiness, it becomes that much easier to attract even more happiness and healthy, loving relationships with anyone, including a future partner.
And if you’d like to learn more about how to navigate life after the end of a relationship, then head over to my podcast, Not Over, Just Different, and check out our latest episode. Author of A Woman’s Guide To Surviving Divorce, Allison Jeffereys, shares the common realities of navigating divorce and how to find your way on the other side as the best version of you. This eye-opening conversation reveals just how important it is to take the time to accept ourselves as individuals before anything else.