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Natalie: Today on the show I'm speaking with Lynne Sheridan and she talks about how unique take on couple therapy. So, stay tuned.
Natalie: Hi! I'm Natalie Ledwell and this is The Inspiration Show and today my special guest is Lynne Sheridan. How are you, Lynne?
Lynne: I'm great! How are you, Nat?
Natalie: I'm fabulous! Happy to have you here. Lynne and I have known each other for a few years now and she wears many hats. And I've been wanting to get her on the show for a while but there's one head in particular that we gonna be talking about today and that's how unique work she does with couples. But before we jump in to all that information and that content, how about we talk about a little bit first about your background or what it is that you do?
Lynne: Right. I am a transformational trainer. So, what that means is I travel around the world and I work with people on living their passion, their dreams, accessing the best of them self and leaving the others part by the way side.
Natalie: Right. And how long have you been doing this work?
Lynne: Twenty years. Is it crazy? Twenty years.
Natalie: Oh my goodness. Well, I've been mentioning that you've seen some pretty amazing breakthroughs and some amazing you know success stories at that time.
Lynne: It is humbling. Yeah, I get your regularly see people heal family relationships that have been suffered for 30 years, quadruple their income without working more, found an orphanage or a charity. This is not the exception, this is after month and I am spoiled in the world that I get to do.
Natalie: Yup. And that was amazing, I always talk about how we create around reality and you know it looks like the reality around you is just all these positive work that you get to see and the positive change that you seem to facilitate around the world which is fantastic. Now, what I really wanna talk about is actually some of the work that you do with couples. So, how did you get into couples counseling in the first place?
Lynne: I have always had this thing where I am like a, people have contact me for relationships my entire life. I have many match making that I've done quite successfully and when I went back to school for marriage and family therapy, I was unbelievably frustrated by what I saw was couples counseling and how plodding and slow it was. So, I wanted to create a hybrid of what I was learning through marriage and family therapy and the best, what I thought was the best of what there was to offer without getting stuck in one modality, drawn from home the modalities. And then, combined it with transformational where people are really held accountable and they do their own work and its experiential and it is not head learning; it is instantaneous results because it's got level learning.
Lynne: And so, what came as one after the first one I did, people said, "We want more." And so, I ended up doing three levels and it's been just a delight.
Natalie: Yeah. Awesome! Because I mean that totally makes sense, it's like you know even if you're not talking about couples but even if you're talking about health or anything, different modalities will fit different people, they'd be more fortified to getting you know re-resolve some different things.
Lynne: Yes. And I think sometimes people can get stuck in their own framework. I know all of us can.
Lynne: And to draw from different things and different moments and really getting to the heart of the matter that really impacts that makes the difference.
Natalie: Yup. Cool. So, let's talk about couples. What some of the things that you see, maybe the most common pitfalls that couples fall into?
Lynne: I think there's a number of those. I think in our society people get busier and busier and it's just in my own life, my husband and I and intersecting and it's easy to become shifts in the night. And to keep our own lives going and careers but to really have each other be most important and maintain the intimacy not just maintained it but deepened it and practices of staying deeply connected with each other. The stuff we argue about it isn't really breakfast or the dog food or it's about deeper things that are the woundings that come from a long long time ago. And so, really hearing what's going on underneath and not responding to the bait so that we can get caught in the same argument again and again and again, getting to the heart of the matter of what is really occurring for both people and bypassing the content, I think is huge for most couples and deepening our intimacy.
Lynne: And then again, we can get into there's all kinds of stuff we face now that we did not face years ago. I mean there's always been infidelities and trust issues and couples recuperating from that and regenerating trust. Now, with that pornography and all kinds of things on the rise that I think the challenge is that we face to grow over a lifetime with another human being and to find our own definition of what it is to be in a marriage or a long-term relationship. It's unique to our time period.
Natalie: Yup. Now, I totally agree with you like I've been married to my husband for 15 years and we probably had about 10 different lives.
Natalie: We've had different businesses; we've lived in different countries. There are so many things and even now I find that we had this discussion the other day because I'm looking to speak more on stage and Glenn does a lot of those seminars and things. So, we're finding this year that there was a lot of trips that we're doing like separately which hasn't really happen before. So, it's like, "Okay. Well, let's sit down and talk about this, you know." You know how do we feel about this? This is some you know and you sort of put down the boundaries, all the rule of works. I think that's kind of what women us what we do. Do you find that most couples have problem communicating that toughest tough?
Lynne: Yes. Partly what I love is I think we can go to seminars sometimes and present our best face and you can now be good Stevenson but I really didn't want that. So, one of things in my first level retreat which has become amazing is, couples actually do their best argument. They're constant, most prevalent argument and they do it in front of a small group and the small group has feedback sheets and the small group is noticing everything, eye contact, eye rolls, body language like everything. And in giving the feedback of the overall context of both of the people because I think most of us have had an experience in an argument with someone we really love where we have said something like, "Oh, I wish I had a tape recorder or I wish that I could show you on video."
Lynne: You did say that you know.
Lynne: And to have people in front of you that can actually say, "Yeah you know I did notice this" is invaluable. And then over the weekend learning communication techniques not just the doing this but the context, where we're coming from when we're communicating, cause that I think speaks way louder than the way words coming out of our mouth.
Lynne: And then, half the couple at the end of the weekend do the same argument from a new place, it really is amazing. Then, people now are working out with concepts; they've actually put it into practice and seen the shift.
Natalie: Yeah, I know. And that's what I love about the work that you do cause it's not so like you, you're going in and seeing a therapist for like years you know. I mean from the body sounds of things you see results in like weekends?
Lynne: Absolutely! You know what, what I love also is people have come in and I have no attachment to how they come in so, people have come in. We had a couple that was in the midst of a divorce and they wanted to not divorce each other in pain and hardship and agony and bitterness but to stay great friends and so they used it for that and have used an incredibly effective way. I've had couples come in and Monday that had an appointment with a lawyer set up for a divorce and then they didn't and they're together 3-4 years later doing great work and moving forward.
Lynne: Couples that have been married 40 years, madly in love and then to see them like little kids, they're in their 70's now and they're having sex states with each other and its I just love it, I love it.
Natalie: Yeah, that's awesome.
Natalie: So, what board, I mean it looks like that you work from couples from all different ranges and all different backgrounds.
Natalie: Yeah. It's so cool.
Lynne: And I'm learning as much from couples and that every, you know that each unique. I even noticed that when I defined it as a couples retreat. The first time I had a couple, a polyamorous couple come and say they weren't really a couple but they said that, "There are three of us and can we do this retreat because it's a couples retreat." "Yes, absolutely you can." Cause they're the definer of their relationship, they're long term partner step and that looks very different for lots of different people.
Natalie: Absolutely! So, if there was one piece of advice that you could give to couples that are maybe going through a rough patch, what would that be?
Lynne: Well, I think the first thing is remind themselves why they fell in love.
Lynne: And that wideness person of all the people in the planet and then look for patterns that they're replaying from their own childhood that maybe are echoes from the past and that the person is hitting a rosebud or a wounding from our own childhood or things that are unresolved. And if I think of it you know Harold Henrick says something that I love; he says that, "Our partner is the person who is uniquely unqualified to give us that love that we want."
Lynne: And in this moment, they're uniquely unqualified. They're not just unqualified; they're unqualified in the exact ways that we need them to be qualified and that's why we hired them. We hired them to push that button for the maximums psychological and spiritual growth of our partnership. And so reminding, what is the echo from my mom, from my dad, from my lost parts of myself. You know the aspects of my husband that I love and adore or aspects that I'm not really great in but as a kid I was great in. I was quiet. I was melancholy. I was internal and he's an artist and he's quiet and he can get melancholy and internal and I can either go, "Why are you being so melancholy?" Or "Yeah, okay this is a part of myself that he's expressing."
Natalie: Yeah. Totally! I know it's interesting when you talk about you know echoing your childhood. Because you know Glenn and I we don't argue about anything but when we used to have, we used to have stressful conversations around money and this was obviously before mind movies. But what I realized, I actually went through a process by accident where an NOP friend of mine actually released a limiting belief I had around money and after she cleared this belief that I had that I didn't realize I had. When I started to like all these drama on thoughts are falling through my mind, thinking about all the decisions and the actions that I'd done in alignment with this belief that I had and one of those things was that every time that Glenn and I would talk about money we become to this stressful situation cause I was emulating my parents behavior that I was witnessing as a kid and I had no idea I was doing it. So weird you know.
Lynne: Absolutely! Absolutely! And we have it at a cell level.
Lynne: And so, just talking about it that's the part, I mean that's a therapist, I think you know I said, "I told you." I have couples come week after week and they wanna pay me for you know a healthy chunk of money week after week. I don't want it. I would much rather have a cell level shift with somebody that then they're not arguing about the money anymore.
Natalie: Absolutely! And that's the thing, I mean going to see someone like yourself is such a fantastic idea because I had no idea that that's where that behavior was coming from and if you would have asked me about it I would have said, "Well, it's because Glenn is accusing me or Glenn's insinuating or Glenn's whatever."
Natalie: But it wasn't that at all. That was just a symptom of what the behavior really was.
Natalie: That's why the work you do is so amazing.
Lynne: I just I feel blessed unbelievably.
Lynne: This is my life.
Natalie: Now, Lynne if we wanna find out more about the work that you do now, I actually I know that you do some word work with world work as well. So, maybe tell us about the workshop that's coming up with that too.
Lynne: World works, well, world works has a training on May 1st and it's really exciting because Lisa Kalman who is a fantastic.
Lynne: My best friend and little fire cracker amazing woman. She's done transformational work for 26 years. She's a master on the planet and really shifting people's consciousness and this is her company and I have the privileged of training with her. So, its worldworksinc.com and we have a training on May 1 and she's doing something called back to the future where for this training she's letting people enroll on the first two trainings at the prices that was about 30 years ago.
Lynne: As in. It's my 20th anniversary and it's kind of like an acknowledgement of the past 20 years of the work that I've done in transformation and her wanting it to be accessible to people. And it is profound shifting, immediate results, people doubling, quadrupling their income, founding a charity. The other night was one of our graduates had a charity event and 300 people and celebrities there and this was her vision and everybody living their vision not just talking about it in a pretty quick way.
Natalie: Right. Awesome! And if we wanna find out more about you, where can we send people?
Lynne: Www.lynneesheridan. So, l-y-n-n-e-e-s-h-e-r-i-d-a-n.com and that's in it for it has links to world works, links to inspire, my company on there and all kinds of good stuff.
Natalie: Yup. And all your info on couples retreat and stuff like that too.
Natalie: Yes. And also if you click on the banner to the side there you can go straight through to Lynne's site from there. So, thanks for joining me Lynne. It's been amazing having you on the show.
Lynne: Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to reach more people for the work that you do and getting of the message that people can shift.
Natalie: Wonderful. Thank you. Now guys, I encourage you to share this video and the information in it. You can do that by clicking the Facebook and the Twitter share buttons above and if you haven't done so already. Make sure you put your email on the box above there because I would love to send you my Manifesting with the Masters Video E-Course. Includes masters like Bob Proctor, John Assaraf and Joe Vitale. Its valued $87 but I'd like to send it to you for free but you have to put your email to the box to do that. So until next time, remember to live large, choose courageously and love without limits. We'll see you soon.