Natalie interviews personal development gurus and inspiring people from all over the globe on her super popular online show!

Episode # 550   JJ Virgin - How to Become a Warrior Mom

About The Episode:

Can you think of the worst moment in your life that you’ve had to endure? How did you overcome it? How would it be different if you were trained to have the right mindset to create heroic outcomes? What if I told you it’s not too late? Watch this video to learn how.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

Episode # 550 JJ Virgin - How to Become a Warrior Mom

NL: Hi everyone, my name is Natalie Ledwell and this is The Inspiration Show. Today on the show I have a very good friend of mine who has a new book coming out called, “Warrior Moms” and we’re going to be talking about what it means to be a warrior mom and how to, you know, have this mindset to be able to achieve everything you want in life, because this is what warrior moms do. But before we introduce my special guest, I just want to remind you that after the show is over, don’t forget to click the link below this video so you can download the free e-book version of my bestselling book, “Never in Your Wildest Dreams.” So, let me please introduce my special guest, JJ Virgin. Hi JJ, how are you?

JJV: And by the way, Natalie, you can be a warrior mom – a warrior dog mom.

NL: There you go. I am a dog mom, for sure (laughing). And I would do anything for Bella, as you well know.

JJV: She makes you do just about anything for her, too. She’s got you wrapped, my friend.

NL: Around her little paw, exactly. So JJ and I have been friends for a number of years, and you may recognize JJ from “The Virgin Diets” and “The Sugar Impact Diet.” So, um, this seems to be a little bit of a digression from what you normally do, JJ. So tell us a little bit about the book, and what was your motivation behind writing it?

JJV: It’s very interesting, ‘cause you know the story. For those of you who didn’t hear about this – when The Virgin Diet was coming out, my son was 16 and was the victim of a hit and run and literally left for dead in the street. He was crossing the street, got hit by a car, that woman got out of her car, gasped – and drove off. And thankfully a neighbor came in, came to the rescue, had him airlifted to a local hospital, and when we got there they said he had [illegible], that kills 90% of the people on the scene, and that he had to have that fixed or he was going to die in the next 24-hours. But, he also had multiple brain bleeds so they couldn’t do that surgery at that hospital, and they told us, “You know, he’s never going to survive another airlift” and even if he does, he wouldn’t survive that surgery. And even if he does survive both, he’d be so brain damaged, it wouldn’t be worth it – and my 15 year-old-son is looking at this guy and he’s a very, he’s like a little mini-Einstein, very mathematical, and he looks and he goes, “So maybe a .25 percent chance?” and the doctor says, “That sounds about right” and he goes, “Well, we’ll take those odds” and he looks at me and goes, “Well it’s not zero, right?” But here’s where this interesting shift happened and really has kind of given me a much bigger, deeper purpose behind all my health books, because The Virgin Diet was drop 7 foods, lose 7 pounds, just 7 days – it was set up to use elimination diet as a weight loss tool. But here I am in the hospital getting ready to launch this book; I’m the financial support for my family. If this book doesn’t go, I’ll be bankrupt, and I’ve now got a kid who, I don’t know what it’s going to take to get him through this and get him back to 100%, but I’m going to do it. And I realize that he’s in the ICU, he’s got 13 fractures, a tube coming out of his brain, a central line, a ventilator. You can’t go in there sick, you know? You’re gloved up, masked up, in a gown, and I thought, you know the only way I’m going to be able to pull this sucker off is if I put my health and myself first, which is just so counterintuitive for us women, right Natalie? Like so often, you look at your to-do list like your eating, your sleeping, your exercise – like, where the heck did they go? So it made me realize that for so many of us, what is holding us back in our lives – beyond our mindset which is obviously the first thing – um, is our health.  And that in order to really take care of your family, and do the amazing work we were all put here to do in the world, it really has to start with this shift of putting yourself and putting your health first. And getting out of that mindset that that’s a selfish thing, to thinking more that that’s really a selfless thing, it’s that whole, “be the change you want to see in the world”. If you want to have healthy kids, if you want a, you know, healthy spouse, like, it’s gotta start with you.

NL: Yeah. And that’s the…and like you said, I know the story so you’re juggling the doctors basically, nearly every day telling you how, you know, Grant is not going to survive, all the reasons why things aren’t going to work, you’re trying to do a book launch and like you said, financially it was, everything was on the line for you.

JJV: Everything.

NL: Everything. So, um, so how do you get, like, what kind of a mindset were you in? Like, I know that health was important to you, but did health contribute to the mindset that you had to adopt to get through that?

JJV: So here’s what’s really interesting, is, we queried our community a couple years ago and we said, “Okay, if you’re not where you want to be with your health, why not?” And I thought, and you’re gonna love this, Nat, I thought they’d say, “I can’t give up my cheese (laughing)”.

NL: I don’t know who else can’t do that? (laughing)

JJV: I just, I don’t know, I’ve heard it a couple of times. Um, but I fully expected it to be, “Oh it’s sugar, it’s cheese blah blah blah” right? But it wasn’t! They said, “I don’t feel worthy.” Like, what? I don’t feel worthy? Now, fortunately for me, and this is why this is so important, why I love what you do with Mind Movies, and this is why it’s so important, this is why I love all your programs, because the time to have the mindset drilled in, to be able to do this, is not when crisis hits, right? It’s like if the hurricane’s coming, right, you’ve got to make sure you’ve already put up all the wood on the windows way ahead of time, not when it’s hitting landfall. So, in my early 30s I had a mindset coach. I thought she was my business coach, and you know, she didn’t even teach me one bit of business for six months, because she said, “You’re not ready yet.” It was my own personal Mr. Miyagi and she taught me really what it takes to create an environment, a supportive environment, to feel free to go out there and you know, be scared but do it anyway and what you needed to do every day starting with gratitude. This all came down to managing my mindset so tightly to be able to stand up to these doctors who kept telling me this doom and gloom crap that wasn’t gonna, you know, to what I needed to do to be so clear on that visualization and manifestation of my son being 110%, right? That he was a warrior and he could pull this off. But I had that all in me and I just brought it into that hospital. I managed that environment so carefully, I didn’t let any of those doctors say any of that crap around Grant, like he wasn’t going to wake up or he wasn’t gonna walk again, because – and this is really, really important, you know – we both know you get what you expect, right? And, turns out Grant could hear me and I knew he could, and he’s had the whole near death experience, he went to the other side, and he said it was, apparently it’s super amazing there, way better than here, and he kept hearing me say, talk to him and tell him what it was going to be like here and when the (illegible) man was basically saying, “Hey do you want to stay here or do you want to go there” he’s going, it’s so much nicer on the other side, but I’ve got work to do here, so he stayed. Um, and that’s really, it’s just, bigger picture it’s so important to manage your environment. You never know who’s listening, most important you’re the one listening.

NL: Absolutely. And the thing is, how you show up and who you are and your energy and the example you are for your family and everyone around you, is super important as well.

JJV: Well it affects everything. You know you brought that up and I’m so glad you did, because you’ll people say, “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry I was such a witch but I was just so stressed.” But that’s who you are at the very core, is when you’re stressed, that’s who you are. And so, like, what do we know about life? Like, crap’s gonna happen, and it is how you show up, and you know you’re gonna go through those challenges and that’s really when you want your best self to be there, and so you gotta train for it. Right?

NL: Yeah. So do you have to be um…so in the book you’re talking about warrior moms. Are you giving specific things that we can do to get our mindsets into that place?

JJV: I, because I spent…here’s the craziest part of all of this: I’m going through this whole crazy situation in the hospital, other people are going, “how the heck are you doing this?” Well I was just in action, I wasn’t thinking, “I think I’ll do some gratitude work and then I’ll do some tapping.” I just had it in me. But afterwards people were like, “Okay, how did you do it?” and I go, “I really, I don’t know.” And I had to sit down and go, what were the tools that I used? Which is what I put in the book and what’s important is, they’re very actionable things that anyone can do. And that’s what I wanted to do. I didn’t just want to write a story, I wanted to write a story that also took you through the process so you can say, okay, here’s what I can do to start the day. Okay, if someone does something crappy to me, because they will, how do I go about giving them so it doesn’t have a hold on me – how do I set myself free? So I literally go through this and share with you every single thing that I went through, the tools I used to be able to keep going through that. It made what was really the worst time one of the most amazing experiences of my…you know…it is the most amazing experience of my life, and my kids will tell you that they are better because of it and, you know, our whole family is – because, you know, easy lives don’t make us better people.

NL: Hmm. They don’t. You’re right. And that’s the thing that I love about the book and what we do here as well, is that, in retrospect you can go back and go, “Okay, well yeah, like I didn’t realize that when we…” like when we were doing our Mind Movies launch, when we’d leave the apartment and go down to the dog beach and have these conversations in present tense, like the launch was already done, how much of an impact that made and how much of a good tool that is. Um, so can you like, share one of the tools that you share in the book, to help us really get into that warrior mindset?

JJV: Well here’s one that…I’ll tell you the first one that I did from day one, and I think it’s just..it’s all about asking the right questions. Um, I was like, how do we get you to be 110%? ‘Cause I said, “Grant, you’re gonna be 110%” and then it was put out to everywhere, to all my doctor friends, “Okay, what you got, ‘cause he’s gonna be 110%, how do I get him to be 110%?” It’s what I’ve lived with, and truthfully that’s given me the hope to keep going when it didn’t look like he was gonna wake up, it didn’t look like he’d ever walk. You know, all these things kept showing up. He comes out of a coma and stares into space and moves an arm back and forth for days on end and making no eye contact, my gosh. But then the other thing that really helped me do this ‘cause it’s up to you to manage your mindset. No one’s going to do this one for you, you know, no one’s going to ping you in the morning and go hey, did you do your gratitude work yet, you know? It’s gotta become just like flossing your teeth. So, every morning, three things I’m grateful for, and I think there’s something about physically writing it down, that makes all the difference. And then, end of the day would be my little wins. What were the miracles that happened that day that day…and it would be the littlest thing, like he sighed, he twitched, he squeezed my fingers. But then I discovered one, because I was keeping it together really well, and then someone did a really nasty mean thing to me in business. It’s like, they took advantage of, I was so focused on the book launching and had to let other things go, and they actually stole a big client, you know, can you believe this? This was actually a guy I’d been dating, just to add to the whole thing. So I kind of lost it a little bit. But I realized I had to shift that state, and so I added, I created something that I call “jam” – for the gratitude in the morning, the little miracle at night, and then during the day I discovered that if I was starting to get into, you know, an angry spot, a resentful spot, scared spot, you know, ‘cause it usually just comes down to fear anyway. What I would do is text a friend and tell them what I appreciate about them, because the minute you do that, it changes your state but ultimately they’re going to send you back something super sweet and nice too, so it’s a beautiful win-win, right?

NL: I love that, I actually haven’t heard that before. I’m gonna borrow it, haha.

JJV: Model that.

NL: Exactly. No, that’s fantastic. Because that’s the thing, you know, when we can maintain that higher vibration, that’s when we get to see the solutions, and that’s when we have the motivation and the energy to keep going and to do whatever it takes. Um, and you’re right – your whole family and Grant, it’s just – it’s like 110%. And uh, it’s like, when you focus – when you set your goal here at like this level, um, I always recommend that you focus on the level behind because that way you’re focusing here, you push right past that one.

JJV: Exactly. That’s what I figured – you know, I’ll go for 110% which doesn’t exist, uh, because if I fall a little short, it’s totally cool. But I also did believe I could do 110%. My son was bi-polar, really challenging before the accident, and I go, “What if this gives us kind of, a little bit of, a reset?” You know? So it’s actually, he is now better than before the accident. He is so much more self-aware, he has a purpose, like, when he starts giving me any kind of, “Oh, I don’t know why I’m here”, I go, “Honey, you were dead on the street; if you can survive that, you can figure this out.”  He goes, “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

NL: You know what? That’s gonna be…he won’t be able to have an excuse for the rest of his life now.

JJV: Right? I know.

NL: Alright, so JJ, what if someone’s watching the show right now and they’re like alright, it’s easy for you, you can do that, but I don’t think I would have the strength, or I wouldn’t have the mindset to be able to do that, you know? What advice would you have for someone who wants it?

JJV: What’s interesting is, I had that coach, I told you, at age 30, she always said, “Don’t wish it was easier, make yourself stronger.” And, I really do believe we’re stronger than we think, we just haven’t been put in that situation yet. However, and believe me, when your loved one’s life’s on the line, it’s amazing. You hear about the women pulling the cars off their kids, it’s amazing how strong you can be when you are forced to be. But again, I come back to you don’t want to wait until you’re in that situation.

NL: Hmm.

JJV: You want to start putting these things into place, because ultimately they’re going to uplevel your whole life anyway because, really, it could be the best or the worst day of your life every single day completely based on your perception and what you do to make it that way.

NL: Yeah, absolutely. I agree. Well, darling, thank you so much for joining us today. Um, so if people want to connect with you or get their hands on the book, where can we send them to do that?

JV: Easiest one is jjvirgin.com and we have the super fun contest right now with warrior moms. I really want to…I feel like moms, and this includes dog moms, are the unsung heroes. This includes step-moms, dog-moms, all kinds of moms. But we’re sort of the unsung quiet martyrs out there and we need to be celebrated and so we are celebrating warrior moms everywhere, giving out great gifts, um, big prizes, like including going to the Rancho Valencia spa, going to the spa for a couple of days and treatments and all of that. So you can nominate people. You’ll find about that at warriormombook.com and where you can nominate yourself or someone else and they can win great prizes. But also, again, it just goes back to showing that appreciation and sharing that appreciation, because that just increases everyone’s vibration.

NL: Absolutely. Awesome. Well thanks again, doll, it’s great chatting to you today.

JJV: You too.

NL: And guys, I encourage you, please share this video. Let’s get the word out there and you can do that by clicking the Facebook and Twitter share buttons on on this page, and don’t forget – you can either click the banner to the side or the link below this video to go straight through to JJ’s website. And after everything is all said and done, uh, just click on the link below the video so you can download the free e-book version of my book, “Never in Your Wildest Dreams.” So until next time, remember to live large, choose courageously, and love without limits. We’ll see you soon.

 

 

 

 

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