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NL: Hi. My name is Natalie Ledwell and this is The Inspiration Show. Today on the show, we’re going to be talking about kindness - what it looks like in our daily life, but also what it looks like in business and how we can use it to bridge what seems to be a more rising diversity right now, not just here in the US, but around the world. And my special guest is going to be talking all about that, but before I introduce her, let me just remind you that if you are watching the show on YouTube, don't forget after you've watched the show to click on the link below the video so that we can get you through the 30-second quiz so you figure out what's blocking you from success. So please welcome my special guest and my very good friend, Jill Lublin. How are you Jill?
JL: I’m doing great, Natalie, good to be with you. Thank you.
NL: Yeah, great to see you. Now, I know that you were just hanging out with Glen on the cruise. I saw a photo of you guys on Facebook and I know that he was talking to you about your new book which you can hold up which is “The Profit of Kindness: How to Influence Others, Establish Trust, and Build Lasting Business Relationships.” And it seems this is a very timely conversation to be having right now. So tell me, why don’t we start first with what you do because you really are a PR person, and you and I are both founding members of the Association of Transformational Leaders, so we have quite a friendship. But let’s talk a little bit about what you do and how you got into writing this book.
JL: Sure. Well you know I help people get media, the very things we're doing now, I just came from Fox News which was very exciting talking about kindness... but that's really what I helps others to do - create more media based on their business or a concept. And also I help people get book deals and those who are self-published get foreign rights deal, so that's what I've been doing for a while and I love that, will continue to do that. And then one day, my 82-year-old friend who I always take out because frankly, she’s lonely, and she's been my friend for more than 20 years and I've seen her now into the aging process and she looked at me she goes, “Jill, you're so kind to take out of your time and I know your busy schedule to take me to lunch, to take me out, wouldn’t it be nice if more people were more kind.” She said, “In fact, I really think we need a new currency, the currency of kindness.”
JL: Which I was like oh my gosh moments, like that's my next book, because it is important to spread this message. It is important to help people be more kind and this is my fourth book. I'm very blessed, I wrote a book on publicity, called “Guerilla Publicity,” one on networking, and one on referrals. And what I know is that kindness is the new currency. So, from that, I went and promoted to publishers, just like I do for other people, and one of them said yes and here we are with this new book, “The Profit of Kindness.” So I’m so excited and it feels like such an important now time, now time, that this book was really blessed to have come out in this moment when we have come through a very divisive time, when we need more kindness now more than ever.
NL: Yeah, I agree and I think that regardless of what's happening in the world, whether it is through politics or whether through any of the other major things that are going on in the world right now, that when we go back to kindness - I mean of course we're going to be thinking differently to other people, I mean that's being human and that's what it's all about - but when we can always come from a place of kindness, I think that's when we can start to have a conversation or model a conversation, where we may still not agree after the conversation, but when we’re coming from a place of kindness, at least we can show some empathy. So tell me about the book - like I know it says “The Profit of Kindness,” but you’re talking about business or what is the angle of the book or what are you talking about in there?
JL: Here's what's interesting - yes it's for business people because we're talking about how it actually generates more revenue, more profit, more customers, but you know what's interesting is I've been doing these interviews, I've been talking about the divisiveness in the world, the fact that we need kindness on a daily basis, kindness goes across all borders; doesn't matter if you’re business, if you’re mom, if you're raising children, really none of it matters. What matters is that kindness is at the foundation of all that you do. You know in the book, interestingly enough, we gave a story about Panera Bread Company (some of you may have heard of Panera), and this gentleman in New Hampshire called up his local Panera and said, “My grandmother is very sick.” And she was really to the point of dying and he said, “You know what she's asking for? She wants clam chowder.” So the Panera woman said, “You know truthfully, clam chowder's only made on Friday. This is Tuesday. But you know what, let me see what I can do.” Because she heard in the man's voice that this would mean the world to his dying grandmother. So she went and cooked up a batch of clam chowder on a Tuesday when of course the policy says it's served on a Friday. Do you think that's kindness? Here not only is it kindness, but that act of kindness went viral - 250,000 people saw that posting. Do you think Panera made more money? Now is thought of as a kind company? It started with one guy asking for something for his grandmother and one minimum made wage worker who said I'll do it for you. That's kindness in action.
JL: That's what we're talking about.
NL: Yeah and I don't think you’re talking about kindness as a currency to get something else. I mean clearly the story that you've just told us is someone who honestly for no gain whatsoever, wanted to do this purely out of kindness or out of love. So I think that if we're using it as a tool to get more then we’ve kind of missed the point, don’t you think?
JL: Absolutely. And interestingly enough, McDonald’s ran a ‘Pay With Lovin’ campaign, where they actually used hugs to pay for their meals. I thought that was amazing. Kleenex ran a huge campaign, pay it forward about buying Kleenex for their customers. Isn't that amazing? So what I would tell you is major companies who you all have heard of are using it in their campaigns – kindness, love, compassion, paying it forward - as really a new way of marketing, which I think is wonderful and a great attribute for our society in this moment. But no, you never use kindness to get something, you be kind because it's the right thing to do. Think of the Golden Rule: Do unto others like you would want done unto you - the things that our parents taught us really are true. And in this world, in this time, we need kindness more than ever.
NL: Yeah. You know the Kleenex company, they’re like my heroes. So not only are those commercials tearjerkers but you need to reach for a Kleenex as you are watching their marketing, because you’re bawling your eyes out! But also they are doing it as an act of kindness as well. So do you also talk about how we can integrate kindness into just who we are, you know as individuals as well as companies?
JL: Absolutely. So you know it starts with one of my Profit of Kindness formulas I call it “Return on Kindness” instead of ROI. We got “ROK.” And one of the ROK formulas is to be grateful. You know express gratitude. So how about at home? I think honestly, sometimes the ones we love don't always get the best of us, meaning, give the best of yourself before you walk out the doors. Say thank you to your to your siblings, say thank you to your spouse, say thank you to your dog and cat - we're loving you, no matter what. So I think that makes a big difference; expressing gratitude, compassion. The other day I was on that cruise ship with Glen and I was in the spa...
NL: Actually, I’m sorry Jill, let me just have a little chat about something while you get your video backup because we dropped out but we can see your thumbnail now which looks amazing, but now let's try to get your video back up there again. But I want to go back and talk about gratitude because I do believe that gratitude - and we talk about this in the Mind Movies community - how it should be a daily practice that we do, and whether it be writing in your gratitude journal or for me, my trigger is when I take Bella out for a walk in the morning, that's when I'm walking along the marina and I'm like, I can't help being grateful. And so you were saying that when you were on the cruise last week with Glen…
JL: Yeah, so I was in the spa and this woman was cursing at another woman who was one of the spa directors, and I just walked by there and I just sent a good blessing and one of the women, the woman who was being yelled at who worked for the ship said, “You know you don't have to talk to me like that. I understand you're upset and I'm willing to take care of you, but please don't talk to me like that.” Which by the way, I thought was a very kind thing for her to say because it could have escalated, she could have gone raw-raw-raw, and then frankly nobody would have been happy, but I think she handled it in a kind way. That's not to say people can walk all over you if you're kind, right? But she handled it well, she said a respectful thing back. We don't always have to agree with each other, as you said earlier, but we do need to be kind. It is the new respect.
NL: Yeah and I think that's also what you’re talking about there is setting boundaries. Like yes be kind, but not at the expense of your own well-being. Because we know being transformational leaders we give and we teach, but we also have an ability to be able to fill our own cup, and I think that that's also an important component of this as well, I think.
JL: Absolutely. And it is important to know your boundaries, to know self-care, what you need to do it to take care of yourself, or whatever it is in each moment. To be kind to self, how about that? I think many of us are not kind to ourselves. We're too hard on ourselves. I know I am sometimes, or I don't integrate some self-care when I most need it. You know go take a bath, right? I mean there's just times you need to take care, put yourself out of commission for a moment, and go take care of yourself and that's kindness. Or walking out of a room when your spouse is upset, like I say to Steve, “Let's go to our corners. Let’s take a moment and go to our corners.” That happens in families, that happens with our spouses, our loved ones, our friends.
NL: Yeah, you know I was at a conference last week, and one of the things that they were talking about with couples is that the number one thing was: content. It was like the number one thing that was the break-up between couples. But with only just a small amount of work together and really discovering what it is that the other person wanted, and coming from a place of kindness, would completely change your marriage around. So it sounds like this is applicable not just to business, but to our personal lives, to our relationships, to our families, and just making a commitment to show up in kindness every day can make a massive shift in our life. So what tell me, in the book, what's one of your favorite stories that you shared in there? Of what you've seen that really opened your heart - what is a great example of kindness that’s been shown in the world?
JL: Well, if I may, let me share one of my own that I share in the book. I fell and fractured both ankles in multiple places. Can you imagine? And the impact that that had in my life, I couldn't walk, I couldn't bathe, I couldn't do anything. I needed to hire a caregiver, for five months I was in a wheelchair. And I called up my coach, because I believe in coaching and staying at the top, and being with wonderful people like you, and staying invested in learning and growing. And I called up my coach, and I said, “I'm sorry I just can't coach with you right now, my work has been impacted, I can't go speak and consult all over, and I just can't pay for coaching right now.” And he said, “Jill, don’t worry about it. I know who you are and I believe in you, and we’re gonna keep coaching because you need to get back on your feet literally, physically, figuratively, spiritually, all-of-the-above.” Because I was in tears and I was traumatized, as an injury will do to you. And so bless his heart, he stood by me for those five months, he coached me, continued to stay with me. And you know what, here we are, actually in total, I've already worked with him I think about 10 years, I mean really a while. And we are 12 years into our relationship, and I have continued to invest with him, I’ve continued to send people to him. I will always speak about him and he's in my book. Do you think that we keep going? Of course! Kindness keeps going. He didn't do that because of any particular reason, except that he believed in me and he's kind, period, end of story. And that, my friend, is what kept our relationship going, has made me such a loyal customer to him, has helped me spread the word about him, and frankly features him in the first paragraph of my stories. Opening it up with that act of kindness because that's how powerful acts of kindness are. Think about this in your lives, all of you as you're watching this, the things that people do for you that truly are kind, that are given because it's from their heart, it's from something that they look at you and think, ‘oh here's what I want to do for you in this moment.’ It could be at Fedex, it could be at your local restaurant, it could be anywhere you are in the world in each given moment, but somebody does an extra act of kindness and you always remember it. Don't you?
JL: And typically you’re loyal to that company, to that person, whatever it is, because of who they are. That's the point, open your heart and see where you can be more kind to others.
NL: Absolutely and I also think that another place that we should make a commitment to being kind is whenever we're posting something online. There is a lot of meanness and I think there's a lot of knee-jerk reactions to things and very emotional reactions. But again, you don't have to agree with anything, but if you're posting something, post something from a space of kindness, even though it may be in opposition to the opinion that you've just seen. Jill, thank you so much for joining me today. I'm really looking forward to reading your book, actually. It's very exciting. So where can we send people to get a hold of you, and the book, and to get on board with that?
JL: Well, thank you so much. I’ll check, here's the cover again, go to profitofkindness.com. Go check it out. We will give you all kinds of fun bonuses. And then if you have any need to talk to me about anything that I can help you with or ways that I can support you, please send us an email to [email protected] and maybe you can put that on the screen, [email protected], lots of “Ls” in there, I’m happy to be of help in any way I can.
NL: Wonderful. So thanks again Jill for joining us today. Now guys, if you are watching this online, just click the banner to the side, it will take you through straight to Jill’s site, so you can get your hands on the book. If you're watching it on the app, click the banner underneath. Also, share this video. Let's get the word out there. You can do that by clicking the Facebook and the Twitter share buttons on this page, and don’t forget to take the quiz 30-second quiz if you're watching this on YouTube, so we can figure out what is blocking you from success and get rid of that once and for all. And of course, if you're watching this online, leave your email so we can send you the Manifesting With The Master’s e-course video. So until next time, remember to live large, choose courageously and love without limits. We’ll see you soon.