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Natalie: Today on the show I'm speaking with Talyn Khanbabyan and we're talking about how the Law of Attraction can be working against you when you're looking for your perfect partner, so stay tuned.
Hi I'm Natalie Ledwell and this is The Inspiration Show, and today my special guest is Talyn Khanbabyan how are you?
Talyn: I'm great Natalie, how are you?
Natalie: Fabulous! Taleen and I have actually met each other again at a seminar just recently and were talking about a very interesting subject about Law of Attraction and Dating.
Natalie: So were gonna more into that in a second but why first of all we just start with your story and your background.
Talyn: My story and background, ok! Well after spending 10 years in fashion industry working as a designer, which I had a love-hate relationship with, I love the creative part of it but, it was just, I felt hire calling, so I became a life-coach and well what that really means is that I'm a Love Illuminatrix...
Talyn: And I say that because I help bring out the love in women that they have for themselves, I help them heal away all the unnecessary layers, so they can threw up and really attract what they really want into their lives. So, same with you as a fascination was love attraction, it's a you know, Wayne Dior said; You don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
Talyn: So I help women figure out what that really is. So they can bring more of that into their lives.
Natalie: Its interesting because when you think about Law of Attraction when you're attracting your perfect partner, you know you talk about, you know setting out your affirmations and focusing on the partner that you want, so does that not work when you're looking for a partner?
Talyn: Oh! Great question, it can work, you've heard of course Ask, Believe, Receive?
Talyn: Well, you do the asking, you read all the books, you make a list of everything you want in your ideal partner, you do your visualizations, you use your Mind Movies, right? And your visualizing and you see yourself with your partner, here's where the receiving partner is tricky, if there is something in you that is not available, you will continue to attract what you don't want into your life, even if your saying to the universe; this is what I want, I'm open, I'm loving, I'm generous, how can I keep attracting people into my life that are emotionally available or seem to have a kind of abandonment issue? Or just commitment focused?
Talyn: Right, well I can tell you a couple of reasons why...
Natalie: Ok! Please do, many women who are going crazy over this...
Talyn: Yes! And I'm telling you this turned your message into your message, I'm guilty of all of these things I will tell you right now. First of all, if you are over accommodating, if you are diminishing your talents, if you are wavering on your boundaries and putting yourself in situations that don't feel right to you, you're abandoning yourself. Every time you ignore your intuition, you're abandoning yourself, and you will... that's the energy you're putting up out there, is that you are willing to abandon yourself. Of course what you are gonna attract back even though its not on your vision board is somebody who's gonna abandon you. Now when you don't show up as your authentic self, when you don't fully voice your opinion... no im not telling my compromise, you know if you're in like a political debate with somebody, you're not gonna compromise who you are right? You're inauthenticity in that moment when you're just keeping quiet or trying to keep the peace and you don't wanna really rock the boat, or even when you're faking common interest, you know how many times did you like something on a facebook page that you don't really like because he might notice that you liked it, right? All the time, Im gonna retweet this maybe he'll see that I retweet it even though I hate that band. Your inauthenticity in those moments is your emotional unavailability to yourself and to others and that's huge. I had to actually write that down; My inauthenticity in those little moments and they are so manute that you might think... one little thing here and there is its not gonna do anything right? It adds up overtime and you're diminishing your spirit and you're not available.
Natalie: Yep, you know what and its one thing that I always... when I give advice to people about relationship, my husband and I have been married for 15 years and I have an awesome marriage, but my whole thing is that we are 2 individuals, that compliment each other....
Natalie: And we have these 2 individual self and after 15 years, there are lot of things that we don't agree on, yeah lot of things, but it doesn't diminish the relationship.
Natallie: And it keeps in getting interesting, and it keeps in anything... you know for me I found that love and respect is so closely related. You cant have one without the other. So if you bow down all the time, or just be agreeable with them time, then it makes it difficult for your partner to respect you...
Natalie: Because if you're not being authentic, you don't being authentic in yourself.
Talyn: Yes exactly. Oh that's such a great example, I'm so glad that you said that. You are whole individual, he's a whole individual, and you came together to share, together. You're not looking for something in him to complete you and vice versa. And that's what works.
Natalie: Cause you know it's a partnership as well you know I think, you know even now you know, Dan and I we worked in different man businesses together, but we'll always ask each other, its opinion on different things,
Natalie: You know, which is really important, because if you wanna be the best partner to your partner, what is included in that is being a great support. You know, and to do that, they've got to be able to know that they can ask you something, and you will give them the honest answer, not what they wanna hear.
Talyn: Yes, exactly, and you can be supportive and still maintain who you are.
Natalie: Yes. Oh absolutely. Ok so what advice do you have for someone who you think... maybe is listening to this going... "oh my God that's me!" you know because that's the thing, you make someone you wanted to be right, you know, so you do have this little, you know that you bow down and all these at all cases. What advice do you have for someone to step into their authenticity?
Talyn: Okay, Great question, thank you. First I would say, just incoming from that moment when you said you wanted to be right, oh you so wanted to be right! You want this... let go of the need for that to be the one, for that to even be right, if its right, it will be right, to universe when you know its right, you don't have to do anything to make it right, you don't have to show up somewhere where he's gonna be to make it right, it will just naturally happen. Okay? And number 2, think about all the ways that you have been, maybe abandoning yourself, and make a list of them, and be very mindful of them and you know what, even I do this, I keep notes on my phone, on the little note app on the IPhone, make a list of ways that you've been doing that, notice where your patterns are and keep notes of them, ask your friends and your family around you to remind you when you're being that way. It starts at just being in awareness, being mindful when these behaviors are coming up so you can let them go.
Natalie: You know lot of times we'd like to avoid conflict.
Natalie: Yeah, not just with our partner, but I mean this advice is great in relationships but in life, in general. You know, I used to find myself in a situation like I just wanna avoid the conflict so all I do is backdown, or just be quiet, or.. but then that all depends into myself and so I got into a point when I'm like, ok I need my opinion to come across here, I need to be able to contribute to this conversation, but I had to completely change my thought process or my perception to go so I can do without the conflict. Just because I'm heading my opinion it doesn't mean its going to be a conflict...
Natalie: Like were doing it in a way that it is challenging.
Talyn: Exactly, and you can let somebody know, you know I respect your opinion but you know may I share a thought with you?
Talyn: May i... here's my experience of what you said...
Talyn: And just by taking ownership of your experience of the situation, you're saying; this isn't the truth okay? That you're wrong. This is just my experience of it is, I see it this way, and once you can take responsibility of your side of it, the other person will automatically become... not defensive but open to hearing you...
Natalie: well the thing is opinion is just opinion...
Natalie: Based on our past experience, and the thing is if you close yourself to someone else's opinion then you're missing out on broadening yours.
Talyn: Well absolutely, I could not agree with you more, yes, there is no truth for the capital "T" its all what you see, its all your perception, its all again your experience and they have their experience.
Natalie: Yeah, excellent. Ok so what's something practically what women can do to be able to help them step into more authentic version of themselves?
Talyn: More authentic version of themselves, let go of the fear and the doubt that you're not enough. Let go of that fear and doubt that if you do show up as you authentic self, somebody might not accept you for who you are, and that might mean something about you, that might mean you're not good enough. Let go of that, know that you're whole and complete as you are, you are a perfect human being, I say this all the time. Nobody needs to be fixed, you don't need to be fixed, there's nothing wrong with you, what you mind need for help is shutting the layers of what you've taken on, throughout your life, of how you think you are supposed to be and that's how you're not showing up as your authentic self, but there's nothing broken in you.
Natalie: Yeah, that's the thing; you're really looking for someone who's gonna compliment the person that you are.
Natalie: You know, and if this person is not the person, then its not the person.
Talyn: it's just not the person.
Natalie: its just that you're not into him, if he doesn't appreciate you for who you are.
Natalie: And it doesn't matter what... that you know anything that works or anything that you have, you know, the more individual, the more strong and confident you are, the sexier that is.
Talyn: Oh my gosh I cannot agree with you more. It's so sexy when you can just... even owning like the little, little mistakes or a few, triple for yourself, or something happens in front of a guy, and your just mortified and your face is just red high and you can just say... whoa that's a sexy mistake! You just own it, you just say; hey wasn't that sexy? Make light of it!
Natalie: Exactly, and that's the thing, I mean it just makes you more attractive to everybody.
Talyn: Yes! I'm so happy that you brought that up, it is so, so sexy and its not, its not even about the looks. Wouldn't you agree that when a man walks into the room, he can be model-pretty, but if he's not being himself, and not being authentic, it's gonna show through, and I really wanna talk to that guy.
Natalie: Yeah, and I think too even with like women, when I'm attracted as in, you know, I'm attracted to another woman, it's like what attracts me to other people in general is their confidence and how comfortable they are within their skin.
Natalie: you know, because that's the thing we can see through the base you know, I mean we can own these days, we can own spell all out the way, and the people that you really wanna be attracted to the people that can step into their lives.
Talyn: Yes, exactly and you know what, you are gonna attract people into your life, they're gonna be a mirror for you, so because of the Law of Attraction... this is the great part about the Law of Attraction in relationships, you'll know what the work you're doing is right, or if it's enough, or if you keep attracting the same thing, same guy in different shoes, you'll know that you need to dig a little deeper. So, yeah, just, just be fearless, be you, have fun with it.
Natalie: I was thinking too that you gotta look at everything, every relationship is a blessing, because if it might not work out, it teaches you something to make better yourself.
Natalie: And it actually helps you to go right,; well now I know that my perfect relationship can have these characteristics or if this situation comes up, it's a no brainer, its not gonna work, and so it helps you to move through and have a much clearer picture of the relationship that you dreamt of.
Talyn: Yes, exactly. I couldn't agree more.
Natalie: Talyn thank you so much for coming in...
Talyn: Oh thank you, it's such an honor! I love it, oh I love it. I'm happy to continue it anytime.
Natalie: Excellent. So if we wanna send people to find out more about you, and the work that you do, where can we send them?
Talyn: Oh great, thanks for asking, its beyoubefreehavefun.com.
Natalie: So b-e-y-o-u...
Natalie: I love it.
Talyn: I'm putting together a tell seminar, little workshop for, to go into this little deeper, so if people wanna contact me or get on my mailing list, I'm happy to send them more information about it and continue this conversation again, I would love to come on here and continue the conversation.
Natalie: Yes, that's awesome. Now guys if you click on the banner to side then you go straight through to Taleen's site from there. So I encourage you to share this video and the information in it and get the word-out and you can do that by clicking the Facebook and twitter share buttons above and if you haven't done so already, make sure that you put your email on the box above there, cause I would love to send you the Manifesting with the Masters Video E-Course, includes masters like Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale, John Assaraf, its valued $87 and I would like to send it to you for free but you have to put your email on the box first and so until next time, remember to live large, choose courageously, and love without limits.