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Episode # 520   How To Deal With Grief - Robert Clancy

About The Episode:

Has the departure of a loved one or a profound life-changing event left you heartbroken? If you’re currently dealing with grief or looking for deeper meaning in your life, then today’s episode of The Inspiration Show will help you in your healing process. Robert Clancy, author and inspirational speaker, joins us to share how to shift from a space of crippling grief to one of hope, acceptance and healing.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

Episode # 520 How To Deal With Grief - Robert Clancy

NL: Hi everyone! My name is Natalie Ledwell and this is The Inspiration Show. Today on the show I have a special guest who is a good friend of mine. We’re going to be talking about his new book Soul Cyphers. Before we do that I want to make sure that you know that when this show is finished- if you’re watching this live on Facebook, or if you’re watching on our YouTube channel- once the show is over, click the link below this video I encourage you to take my 30- second quiz so we can see what’s holding you back from success. So, let me introduce my special guest today, Mr. Robert Clancy. How are you, Robert?

RC: I am doing outstanding. It’s so beautiful to be here today.

NL: You know what? It’s great to have you here. I know that we’ve had you on the show once before. I think we’re talking about your previous book, but this new book Soul Cyphers: Decoding A Life of Hope and Happiness seems to be an extension of that- like an application of a lot of the things we’re talking about before. So I’m really excited to share some of those things with our audience today. But before we do that, for those people who may not have seen our previous show together, can you tell us a little bit about your background and how your journey into writing this book.

RC:  Yes. Well it’s a divine experience that happened at age 19 and it’s the first time I was really releasing this story. I kept it a secret for 30 years, even from my own family. I had this amazing divine experience at the lowest point of my life and it was the first time I meditated. So I had lost several friends to suicide; I basically checked out. I stopped caring about life and everything. Somebody saw that I was struggling and said, “You need to go home and meditate- and here’s a booklet on how to do that”. And I did. I was three hours into this beautiful meditation and before I started I asked God. I said, “I need a sign. If I don’t get a sign, I’m done”. Boy did I get one. It was… A light appeared and then it unfolded. It looked like a star. I could see with my eyes open, or closed, and then it just manifested into an angel. I know what I saw. I’m the most logical, scientific person you’re going to meet on this planet and I spent an hour with this beautiful entity. She touched me on the forehead at the end of this and all I can tell you is it’s like being plugged into the internet with every beautiful thing that there ever is, when she did this. I raised my hands like this and I closed my eyes and I saw my entire life. I was going to volunteer and help youth. I’m going to be speaking, and doing all these presentations, and writing books. I said afterwards, “I’m only 19. How do you mean I’m going to inspire youth and I’m going to do all these things”? It did unfold and I told my family in 2012 when the other book was released, but I didn’t write the story. In this book I actually documented what happened to me, and all these beautiful stories that have unfolded since.

NL: Yeah. I know. It’s such a great experience and insight to have at such a young age. So how did you come out of an experience of such wonderment and then apply that in your life moving forward, especially for an author like yourself?

RC:  Well, the first thing was I definitely went to bed with a smile on my face. But, before I did that, I actually had to look myself in the mirror and said you’re going to have to carry this. This is going to be a burden. Of all the beautiful things the angel gave me, she took away one thing; it was faith. I know that sounds odd, but faith is a belief in something you’re not sure of and I was shown. So I have to carry only belief. Then I thought, “What am I going to do with this gift?  What’s my journey? What’s my purpose? Basically, what was communicated was it’d unfold. Don’t have any fear, doubt or worry and it will just go when it comes about. So I became a programmer. Like I said, I got a logical mind. 100 on the logic exam, Mr. Logic. But this book is about inspiration and decoding. I have these simple decodes, like smiling when you’re alone. How many people don’t bring that to their conscious? People started asking me, why are you so happy? What do you do in your daily routine? I said, “I have so many that… There’s these little things”. So, on each of these inspirational stories you’re going to get three decodes in this book.

NL: Right. The decode is just like a daily practice, or an exercise, that anyone can implement?

RC: Yes, and they’re very simple. Like I said, one is smiling when you’re alone. Another one is have no expectations. When you have expectations, you’re limiting yourself. Why limit? Have no expectations and you’re open to everything. It’s just simple mindsets that change everything about where you are, or where you’re heading, your life path. Bringing your career, and calling and everything together because each of us has an amazing journey on that path, if we choose to take it. That’s the key.

NL: Yeah. So it sounds like what you’re describing, the book, is how to adopt a spiritual practice?

RC: In your daily life and use it in regular society and every day. Just sharing a smile is the easiest form of community service. It costs nothing and it’s worth everything. So just simple practices like that. They’re not- I don’t go over on the “woo woo” side. Although my journey is sort of on that…  I’m a very practical, real nuts and bolts person. But I have these two sides that don’t always line up. So I’ve got the spiritual side as strong as my analytical side. So yeah- try to be me for a day.

NL: I don’t know I think that would be quite good. I think having a spiritual practice, or understanding the immensity of all that, but then still being grounded and living this human experience… I think that is the key because that’s who we are. So I know that you tackle some fairly huge concepts in the book. Can you tell us a little bit about how you help people if they’re dealing with something big like loss, or death of a loved one?

RC: Right. Yeah. I do tackle grief in this book and there’s… When you’re dealing with grief, it’s not about letting go of your loved one. It’s creating more room in your heart for the love that you have for them. There’s a beautiful passage about this woman that I encountered who her daughter, or her niece actually, and her brother passed away. Her niece and her mother-in-law were murdered. I mean, it’s just a lot of grief. She said, “My brother passed away. He died of a heart attack and if there’s another side, he would have prevented this. He would have saved them. All I said was just a little change in her mindset. I said, “How do you know the saving happens here?” It was that simple. She lost it and hugged me and said, “You’re absolutely right. I’ve never thought about that”. It’s these simple little changes that you can do. I’ve dealt with a lot of grief. I lost my best friend in this world in January. My 18-year- old niece passed away, both my parents, my best friend’s sister committed suicide. His grandmother and his aunt committed suicide. My other best friend, his dad just passed away a couple weeks ago. My other friend- his mother. I have grief in my life, but I also have an understanding that that’s not the end, and that’s how I tackle grief in this book. It’s really, “love has no limits”. It has no end and that’s really the key. It’s a single note on a beautiful symphony of music that plays on and on forever, for eternity, and heaven is layered right on top of us.

NL: Yeah. No, I completely agree with you. I was actually at an interview earlier today and I was talking about how we all have different beliefs. I’ve been talking to a friend whose a nurse in the ICU in Cedars- Sinai. He’s often the last person with people when they’re transitioning and we’re talking about the near-death experiences, and all that kind of thing. Not long ago a girl friend of mine, an Australian girl- friend, was shot and killed by police in Minnesota here in the US. Of course, we have our human reactions and emotional reactions to that. I said but what gives me solace is that my belief- I don’t know whether it’s true or not, but this is what I believe. I believe that we are infinite beings and so having that belief helps me to reconcile that she’s in an amazing place. That she’s part of the consciousness, or whatever. So I think that this is not making someone right or wrong it’s just of whatever we believe can give us solace in these types of situations

RC: Right. We’re not humans with souls. We’re souls surrounded in humanity. That’s the perspective I have and I came to that just these beautiful words started flowing into me. That’s when I started posting them on my Facebook page in 2012 and now there’s half million plus people following the posts. Every day I want these words. I’m inspired by everything. It’s just like everything opened back on that date and it was like the rest of the veil was lifted from me. I see everything now- just the most beautiful things in simple little moments of life.

NL: Yeah. Well, another question I have for you is one of our team members has had two people close to her commit suicide in the last few days- in the last week.

RC: Wow.

NL: And I’ve had other stories that are coming up and, not that I know them personally, but they’re known by people around me. How do you reconcile with depression and suicide?

RC: Yeah. I you know I ended up at the suicide lockdown ward by a series of things. I was planning and sitting by my pool. All of a sudden I’m in the hospital. I was called there and they told me to bring my books. I have no idea. So they said these people were waiting for me in this room and what church am I with? I said I’m not with a church, but they’re in there. So I went in and I met this young man who lost his dad and he attempted suicide. I asked him a question. He said he couldn’t live without his best friend and he was such a mentor to him. I said, “You have kids”? He said no; I knew the answer was no. I said, “Well don’t you want to be the dad for your kids someday that your dad was for you”? It’s a simple change in your perspective and mindset. So dealing with depression doesn’t necessarily lead to suicide. I’ve worked with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I was a keynote speaker for their event. I’ve done some of their walks and saw how this affects in the hole that it leaves in lives. I wish I could repair it. It’s still knowing that the person was in such pain, that it’s not against them. So you have to take solace in that part and you can’t change somebody for what. They’re capable of and yes, we all have a choice. That’s the beauty of life. Mine is I’m hoping that this book will get people to change that perspective and prevent those things from happening.

NL: Yeah. Absolutely. I think sometimes it’s just- you’re just stuck in the moment. In a moment that you can’t see out of and then you make a choice and….you know? So, tell me who are the type of people that you think would really benefit from reading your book, Robert?

RC: It’s anyone who has self-worth issues; it could be just hope. Anybody who just wants to increase happiness in life. If you’re depressed, you feel like you can’t get out of things, it will change your mind on what you are capable of. It will take a person who’s a type triple A personality to the next level because there are some stories of inspiration in there about some hikes that I’ve gone on and things that I discovered on that, as well. Also just anybody that’s lost, a child especially. I think that there are just some beautiful stories that are in there and not all my stories. I’ve interviewed some other people and their beautiful stories are in this book too.

NL: Yeah. You know, it is an amazing book and I commend you for writing it. Thank you so much and for all of the practical codes that people can apply now. Because that’s the thing- being inspired by story is one thing, but then actually being able to add to a practice. You’ll be able to choose what feels good for you. I think it’s amazing. So you’ve done an amazing job.

RC: Thank you.

NL: Yeah. So if people want to connect with you and get their hands on the book, where can we send them to do that?

RC: Well my website is guidetothesoul.com. This weekend I will be releasing the soulcyphers.com website where all the book- and I have pre-orders because the book comes out in the beginning of October. I’m going to have some amazing specials where you can pick up this book for practically free for a few days in there on the launch just as my gift to the world. I can’t wait for people to read this.

NL: Yeah, absolutely. And we’ll have a banner to the side here, or a link underneath the video, so you can just click there go straight through to Robert’s website from there. Thank you, Robert, for joining me today.

RC: Thank you so much. All love to you.

NL: Thank you for joining us. I encourage you to share this video. You can do that by clicking the Facebook and the Twitter share buttons on this page. Make sure you click on the banner on the link to go straight to Robert’s website. Once the show is over, don’t forget to click the link underneath this video so you can take our 30-second quiz to figure out what’s holding you back from success. So, until next time. Remember to live large, choose courageously and love without limits. We’ll see you soon.

Soul Cyphers

 

 

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