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Natalie: Hi I'm Natalie Ledwell and this is The Inspiration Show. Now we're doing a book review on an awesome book called; Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves; and I have the author here, Amy Ahlers, how are you?
Amy: I'm great, thank you, I'm excited! I'm always excited.
Natalie: Now Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves, what are some of the lies that women tell themselves?
Amy: Oh boy, well you know, what I've realized over all of the years of coaching people from all different whacks of life is that; no matter how rich, no matter how thin, no matter how beautiful, a woman is, or no matter how handsome all you guys are out there, at some level, we are being way too hard on ourselves and that we're hiding ourselves despite our external circumstances, and so what I started to do is compile this list of big fat lies, so big fat lies like; "I'm not enough" or "I'm unlovable" or "I'm damaged goods" or "I'm one of the 'have nuts'" or "I'm too (fill in the blank, fat, thin, ugly, tall, whatever it is)" and... so in the book I actually have 59 big fat lies and with each of them, I respond to the lie with truth, and with some sort of client story and then I give a coaching challenge exercise so that you can implement the truth right then and there in your life, followed with an affirmation and an inspiring quote.
Natalie: Right, so we're talking about really maybe livening beliefs that we have that holds us and sabotages us to success.
Amy: Exactly! Yeah, so I really define the Big fat Lies, anything that is making you feel bad. You know its like, when a big fat lie is present, there, its making you feel bad! And also can be like, there's a whole section in there on money, so big fat lie about money, money is the root of all evil, sound familiar to anybody? Right? A big fat lie, so what happens when you believe that big fat lie? You don't want to become something that you don't want to become so then therefore you just keep blocking the wealth in your life, when we believe that big fat lie, so it really is about this self-sabotaging, big fat lies that rally get in the way of all the success, all of the abundance, all the love that we want in our lives.
Natalie: Right, exactly and when I look for the book, I look at some of these lie and go; "Oh my goodness, I actually think that."
Natalie: And you know what, and I think by going through the book and looking at somebody, you'll go, "I didn't even realize that's part of my full presence."
Amy: Exactly, our sub-conscious mind is so powerful and when we, I mean this is one of the reasons why what you do is so powerful, right, is our sub-conscious mind is so powerful and things that we have seeped into our unconscious mind, without us even knowing it! that's the thing that I really wanted to really bring it into the light so we can heal it. that's really what this book is about and I think it's really fascinating when you say that, because listen, I have believed every single one of these big fat lies, I am no different than anybody else which is why, I can write about it right? So, I, you know and really writing it was like reliving every single one of these big fat lies and really reminding myself of the pain of believing a big fat lie like, I'm unlovable for example...
Amy: I actually have a story of about the "I'm unlovable life of Amy" is that useful?
Natalie: Yes use it.
Natalie: Ok great, I have a client who, one of the things that we like to teach in our Mango farm School which I co-founded with Kristina Rillo, something I write about in the book is we to have people name their inner critics, name their inner critics and really out them. And so I have a client, we named her inner critic, "Loveless Lulu" and we like to have people actually draw their inner critic, so Loveless Lulu had a cigarette on her one hand and martini in the other and she would say to my client all the time; "You'll never be loved!" she was just... that was her voice, "You'll never be loved!" she had the cigarette, the martini, and so when Loveless Lulu was in charge, what would happen for my client? She would go out and find the worst dates, right, the guys that would prove the, I'm unlovable big fat lie over, and over, and over again. And you know there is someone watching right now who can probably really relate to this, it's like... you know I hear that and it just makes me want to cry because I know how lovable of course we are. But I know that when we believe that even if on a sub-conscious level or maybe we were told by a parent or someone in charge in some power position, we are growing up; you're not lovable, you're not lovable, it's incredibly painful.
Amy: And so, through doing this work into really outing that inner critic and seeing Loveless Lulu as the big fat liar that she was, my client then was able to start making different decisions, and really let her inner wisdom get on the driver seat for her dating life and the rest of her life and so about a year later, she was happily married, she actually got married on a television show on Mike Eve, on the inn.
Natalie: Oh well...
Amy: So dreams do come true, but yeah, that's just one example of how 1 big fat lie can start running the show in your life and all of the sudden, all of the success, all of the love, all of the money all of the things that you want in your life been, or you are with-holding it from yourself.
Natalie: Right okay, so who's going to benefit from reading this book?
Amy: Oh boy, we know, I think anyone that can really relate to the I Am Being Hard To Myself message. When, I really wrote the book this particular book for women specifically and I will tell you my dad recently actually picked up a copy of the book and I was like; "I don't know him, I can relate to every single one of these big fat lies." And it's true, guys definitely do beat themselves up as well but I'm particularly passionate about helping women in particular because I think that for women, there's this interesting contradictory message that we've been fed specifically, this message Kristina and I talk about this a lot, this message that you can do anything, right? We are told; "Ah! Little girls, we can do anything!" and we are also taught this message that you are not enough, specifically about the advertising industry. All of the products that we get marketed to around, that our wrinkles, the size of our boobs, the size of our hips, whatever it is, that you are not enough, so it's like, "I can do anything!" "You are not enough!" "I CAN DO ANYTHING!" "YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH!" and what happens, we become like headlock in this insanity, and this crazy beating ourselves up cycle and all of this pressure. And so those of the women that are resonating with what I am saying right now are the ones that this book is specially written for.
Natalie: Right, like I've said I've gone through, even though all of them actually find I have all of these faults myself.
Amy: Yes, absolutely. Well and it's really made that you can look at the table of contents and go, you know if you are someone that has the love life that is not the way that you want, go straight to the section on love, like run, do not walk just go straight to that section and look at which is the big fat lie that might be holding you back in your love life, or if money is really what's the challenge in your life right now, go to that section. You can read the book cover to cover, but I really view it as flip it open at any moment, find the big fat lie, do the exercise, actually implement the exercise and change will happen.
Natalie: Right, so really it's like a, this is like a "how to" manual, in figuring out what those thought are and what to do to change those into physical sides of positive change.
Amy: That's exactly right, that's exactly right.
Natalie: Awesome. Guys, ladies, everybody; Big Fat Lies That Women Tell Themselves, if you click on the banner to the side there, you'll go through to the website that Amy set up, that actually has, and then if you want to purchase the book...
Natalie: You can, what's on the page?
Amy: Yeah, so when you purchase the book before October 26, you'll get the best bonuses out there! I have stork Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy who has written 16 books, amazing woman for the forward, she's donated incredible bonus gifts you can find out more on that website. I have donated some really valuable bonus gifts, so brings up, you know the very small investment for the books, so that you'll get tons of benefits and bonuses from that, so you can check that out there and after October 26 you can also start to order, have some of the bonuses but, do it before October 26 and you'll get the best bonuses.
Natalie: Awesome, so just click on the banner to the side so that you could go through to order the book and it's just being released now.
Amy: Yes it is.
Natalie: It's been a great timing that we were able to make this video.
Amy: I know! The universe, serendipity, the flow! So excited...
Natalie: Well thanks again for being here Amy...
Amy: Thank you.
Natalie: So glad that you could spend some time with us.
Amy: Oh thanks Natalie.
Natalie: I hope that you got something out from the video today. Remember that if you did find something valuable, share the love, you know with the Facebook and twitter share buttons above. And if you haven't done so already, make sure that you enter your email so that we can send you 6 pre-made Mind Movies, and we will keep you up to date with all the shows that are coming up. So until next time, remember to live large, choose courageously and love without limits. We'll see you soon.