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8 Tragic Ways You Sabotage Yourself (And How To Stop Right NOW)

8 Tragic Ways You Sabotage Yourself (And How To Stop Right NOW)

Sometimes, you are your own worst enemy.

Why did you order the cheeseburger when you're trying to eat healthy?

Why did you bite your tongue when you really wanted to ask that person out?

Why didn't you apply for that job you've been dreaming of for years?

If you've ever found yourself having feelings, making choices, or saying things that pull you further away from what you want in life, know that you're not alone.

Self-sabotage is the single biggest reason most people never realize their greatest lives - and also the hardest one to detect.

Below are eight of the most common forms of self-sabotage, along with suggestions for overcoming each one.

See what resonates with you, and make the choice to do better by yourself today:

1. Not putting yourself first

Whether it's being a sponge for someone else's negative thoughts, or even just dragging yourself to a party when you're really too tired - do you often find yourself fighting for other people's happiness, growth, or dreams, at the expense of your own?

This common manifestation of self-sabotage is also one of the most dangerous, because it can make you feel righteous and selfless: which are supposed to be good qualities, right?

How to overcome it: 

Always be mindful that the best way to serve others, is to first show up as the best version of yourself. Your kids, spouse, friends, family, and co-workers will all benefit far more in the long run, if you're giving yourself the love and care you need to be a happy and effective human being.

Learning to say no, respecting your personal boundaries, and being in touch with your priorities are all great ways to start putting yourself first more often.

2. Letting fear dictate your life

Have you ever said no to an amazing career opportunity, because you were afraid it wouldn't work out? Or how about pulling the brakes on an adventure or romance of a lifetime, before even exploring it fully?

Fear of uncertainty and danger are all natural ways our well-meaning brains try to protect us from harm. But often, at the cost of some of the best experiences of our lives.

How to overcome it: 

Every time you feel yourself crippled by fear, use personal growth tools like meditation and affirmations to erase it, and even reframe it into excitement.

You can also try deconstructing your fears by writing down the reasons and trigger points behind them. Doing this, you may come to realize that many of your fears stem from limiting beliefs or traumatic past experiences - most of which can be overcome with the aforementioned personal growth tools.

3. Denying your personal power

If you're like most people, you rarely give yourself enough credit. You are far more resilient, intelligent, creative, and resourceful than you think!

And yet perhaps due to unaddressed limiting beliefs, or even a misguided sense of humility you've been taught to have since childhood, you choose to play a smaller game than what you're really capable of - both in your work and in your personal life.

How to overcome it:

Each time you notice yourself thinking or saying something disempowering, write it down - and then write down an empowering affirmation to override it. For instance, if you noticed yourself thinking you're not good enough to get a raise at work, write down that you are a valuable team member who contributes immensely to your organization.

This simple exercise will help you rewire your subconscious mind, so you can finally start lifting yourself up instead of dragging yourself down.

4. Unhealthy habits & addictions

Late-night snacking, procrastination, skipping a gym session… one thing almost all unhealthy habits and addictions have in common is they can make you feel good in the moment - but awful in the long run!

The biggest danger about unhealthy habits is that they quickly become autopilot behaviors you have no control over. If you don't pay attention, you might not even notice you're doing them!

How to overcome it:

Ask yourself what triggers your bad habits: is it boredom? Stress? Fear? Once you've written down those bad habits and their triggers, try replacing them with new positive habits that can also address the triggers.

For instance, if you used to reach for a cigarette when you were stressed at work, try taking a quick walk around the block instead.

5. Seeing yourself as a victim

Life can be unfair, and it's inevitable that people and circumstances will sometimes let you down. When this happens, it can be dangerously comforting to see yourself as a victim in an unjust world.

The problem is that even when it's fully justified, this kind of thinking can also be incredibly disempowering. It robs you of your agency, makes you feel helpless, and stops you from taking control of your life, instead of just letting life happen to you.

How to overcome it:

Shifting your focus from blame to gratitude can work wonders (neuroscientists have even found that an attitude of gratitude can boost a person's happiness by up to 25%).

At the start of every day, try writing down 10 things you're grateful for. You'll be glad to find that it's virtually impossible to feel like a victim, when you're focused on being thankful.

6. Suppressing your emotions

"Emotional people are weak" is a damaging mantra that robs countless people of an authentic, fulfilling, and happy life. Because yes, while it's typically wise to act with a balance of emotion and logic, it's not okay to completely ignore how you feel in favor of what's "right" or what "makes sense".

Studies have shown that regularly suppressing your emotions causes a wide range of problems: including relationship and mental health breakdowns, and low self-esteem.

How to overcome it:

The next time you feel a strong emotional reaction to something, take a moment to acknowledge it - even if it's a negative emotion like anger, fear, or jealousy.

In this moment, remind yourself that emotions are a normal and necessary part of life. And if you're frequently unhappy with your emotions, remember that emotions are a subconscious reaction to your thoughts, beliefs, and circumstances: so try modifying those as well, wherever possible.

7. Choosing comfort over growth

As the saying goes, "change happens at the end of your comfort zone." And yet often, it's the people most desperately in need of change who are most unwilling to venture out and get it.

If you're feeling frustrated with your lack of growth, or if you're stuck with a problem you can't solve, remember that staying in the same place and doing the same things is a surefire recipe for getting the same results, over and over.

How to overcome it:

First, make a conscious decision to choose long-term success and happiness, over short-term comfort. Because sure, taking that public speaking class might seem daunting now - but imagine how good it'll feel when you're finally able to speak effortlessly in front of a crowd (and how disappointed you'd be 10 years from now, if you hadn't challenged yourself).

Also make it a habit to try new things, no matter how small. Read a book from a genre you're not used to. Try cooking different types of cuisine. The more you train your mind to get used to the unknown, the easier it gets.

8. Forgetting you won't live forever

If we lived forever, we could spend thousands of years doing nothing. And there would be far less urgency to seize any given day, and use it to grow, achieve, and discover.

But we don't live forever. Each of us has a few decades (or a century if we're lucky) to realize our potential and live out our dreams. Yet how many of us actually make this short time fully count? And how many of us instead ignore our mortality, spending years of our lives making vague plans and asking "what if?"

How to overcome it:

Embrace your mortality, and find peace in the knowledge that you are living exactly as nature intended. If you have a fear of dying, use affirmations and meditation to shift that fear into a sense of excitement and urgency to live your life to the absolute fullest.

Also, try writing down in your journal what kind of legacy you'd like to leave. How will you make the world a better place for your loved ones and all of humanity? And what do you need to achieve in your lifetime, in order for that to happen? Review this legacy intention regularly, and do a gut check on whether you're taking the necessary steps to make it happen.

Above All Else, Ending Self-Sabotage Is A Mind Game...

And when you do the inner work, you may be surprised at how quickly (and easily) you can overcome self-defeating thought patterns and behaviors that have pinned you down for years.

Through this article you've already acquired a few tools and ideas you can use to get your mind on your side - but if you'd like to go deeper, and gain even more powerful techniques for optimizing your life, then join us on our upcoming FREE online Masterclass, called:

Put Your Success On Autopilot!

On this Masterclass, you'll join Mind Movies founder Natalie Ledwell and acclaimed brainwave entrainment scientist Morry Zelcovitch, as they reveal today's best science for amplifying your productivity, focus, creativity, intuition, and even how to use your mind as a catalyst for healing.

You can access the Masterclass from any computer, smartphone, or tablet.

Use this link now to claim your complimentary spot while you still can!

matrix webinar

Natalie Ledwell is a best selling author, speaker and successful entrepreneur. She's passionate about helping others to achieve their greatest dreams and ambitions through her personal development programs and her online TV show, The Inspiration Show.

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